Oh what to say. Well, erm, hrm….
So Tuesday we had an IFSP meeting with out Early Intervention Service Coordinators and 2/3 of my son’s therapists. It was an extremely stressful meeting, and I became increasingly emotionally-charged until we got at least some of our service change requests in light of our son’s diagnosis and current needs. There really is a lot to say about early intervention in New Jersey, some great, but a lot not so great when it comes to their handling of autism spectrum disorders. It was a ridiculously long meeting, but at least we were able to increase our son’s authorized services from its current 2-3 hrs of service per week to most likely 7 hrs with a physical therapy evaluation. I’m still feeling agitated when I think about certain situations, and I will be addressing these things sometime, but for now, just know Monday evening turned me into one of “those special needs tiger mommies.”
So Wednesday. Right. My little man had a complex partial seizure laying on our couch after a very unusual nap. I know it shouldn’t be a big deal because he didn’t get hurt, and it wasn’t a grand mal seizure… but it sort of confirmed that my son has been having seizures– something I have thought he was having, but was hoping I was somehow wrong (he had one normal 30 minute EEG a few months ago). It’s more just scary thinking about what could happen, though I know that’s pointless to some degree… but come on, he’s my baby. Can he just get a break?
And in light of all this stress, I will leave you with a piece titled The Special Mother. Do I agree with every little word choice and phrase in it? No way. But does it speak to me? Yes. It makes me cry every time I read it. Because regardless of the hows and whatevers about it… I am coming to terms with my role/life/place as a Special Mother.