I come from a “Place of Yes.”


In general, we are happy with our support from early intervention.  I have to say, though, that our service coordinator says “No,” a lot.  She tells us programs don’t exist when they do, that our son wouldn’t qualify for physical therapy when he then did, that she can’t write a short letter in support of our grant proposal stating we could use financial support to aid in co-payments for ABA (because NJEIS wouldn’t offer us more than one hour ABA consult per week despite his now very blatant needs of an intensive ABA program and doctor recommendations for it) when in the same e-mail back and forth of saying “no” she could have so easily just done it.

I was sitting here this afternoon sort of perplexed.  I worked for a nonprofit hospice at one time, and I used to get lots of different demands from patient families, but I didn’t ever say “No” very quickly, if at all.  It wasn’t just because I understood customer service; it was because I had compassion and understood my role as a professional.  When it comes to a patient or client needing service and support for a serious situation, isn’t it a normal response to try and then offer different options if the first choice option is not available?

I guess I come from a “Place of Yes” while our service coordinator comes from a “Place of No.”

Annnnd I now am going to make myself look very mature with a reference to the Real Housewives of New York.  Just watch the first clip of Kelly & Bethenny at the charity meeting and imagine Kelly is our service coordinator and I am Bethenny and imagine we are talking about anything early intervention.


About rhapsodyinautism

I'm a Mom of two little ones-- a two-year-old son newly diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and a baby girl who is too young to make any guesses. I work a little bit from home for an environmental nonprofit, and I am a freelance journalist. I love cooking, singing, and autumn weather. And I'm married to a brilliant, involved Daddy. My son is an auburn-haired smartypants who loves trucks and jazz. He taught himself the alphabet at 20 months. He has a beautiful social smile, but he finds eye contact aversive. He is the reason I am writing this blog... because there is a huge lack in legislation, funding, insurance coverage, and understanding in regards to autism spectrum disorders. This will be my place to advocate, tell the tale of our journey, and hopefully share a few tears and laughs along the way. This is our family life, and we have embraced it.

One response »

  1. As a gatekeeper to many of these services for children – I can tell you that there are many times that I have to or am told to say no. It usually comes down to many or stupid state-imposed caps for how many children should be receivin services, etc. I like to think I am pretty good at saying “no” without actually saying no by offering other alternatives, etc. I do always have the child’s best interest at heart but unfortunately there are a lot of other forces at play and the children do not always get the BEST services. Another unfortunate reality is that the parents who are smarter and fight harder usually get what they want. The entire system is messed up – not enough sharing of services and the kids are being hurt by it. It’s a wonder anyone even goes into special education anymore.

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